Queen Fiction Productions Unltd presents:
THE INCREDIBLE ADVENTURES OF JOHN BOND, SECRET AGENT 000
Episode 1 - IT'S A "BEAUTIFUL" DAY...Once upon a time, when the world was ruled by fear and terror, there lived a mighty fighter for freedom, whose name was John Bond, Secret Agent 000. People knew him under the name of John Richard deacon, bass-player in a british rock band called Queen. He used to fight the Nazis, the Soviets, the CIA, and, most of all, the ferocious leader of the band, Brian May, who always wanted him to rehearse for some gig, while he was supposed to be away on an awfully important mission. However, the struggle with the latter usually ended quickly, with a couple of Brian's fists reaching directly John Bond's nose (mission: impossible).
His two other bandmates didn't seem pretty interested in any matters of the state. Roger, the blonde drummer, was merely absorbed by eating and playing - obviously - drums and Freddie, the vocalist, didn't seem to care about anything at all, except for cute boys and his black nail polish. So John Bond was working incognito and no one ever suspected the fact he was the most ridiculous secret agent of Her Majesty The Queen of England.
One day, John Bond was informed that a dangerous mine was buried by the Nazis somewhere in Central London. His mission was therefore to find and neutralize it, but, while using his exquisite secret agent skills to detect the bomb, he saw his pal the vocalist coming along towards him, with a very bright smile upon his face:
- Hi Johnny, is there any chance you could take me by car to the nearest manicure saloon please? I've got to have my nails cut, filed and polished...
- Just stay there and relax, Freddie! Everything's gonna be all right, John said, as his face faded to a shade of pale, thinking that the vocalist was going to walk on that bloody mine and get himself killed.
- But John, I'm very relaxed, I don't need to relax any more at all... When you said it was all right, you meant you were going to take me by car, didn't you? Oh, you're so sweet Johnny...
And he approached. John shouted:
- Nooo, Freddie, stop right there! There's an extremely dangerous mine under your feet!
- Come on, John, where did you get this from? Freddie asked. Are you saying all this nonsense just in order to not take me to the manicure saloon?!
John pointed out towards Freddie's right foot:
- See? Right there, a mine is buried! My tenth sense told me so!
- Wow, you've got a lot of senses all right, except common sense, John! I'm just wondering why you are playing this masquerade with me!
However, there was no mine to be found. John looked disappointed towards Freddie:
- Hey, it should have been there! I felt it, though...
And he walked a little further. Suddenly, with a huge BANG!, something expoded under his steps, surrounding him with a thick smoke...
- Joooooohn!!!!
The secret agent walked out of the smoke with a couple of scratches on his cheek:
- Don't worry, Freddie, I'm fine. Don't you know that secret agents always get away with everything with only a few scratches?
- Oh, are you a secret agent, John?
- Yeah, but I can't tell you that, it's top secret, you know!
- Well, I see you're pretty good at keeping secrets, since you've just told me one!
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